My Hidden Life as a Woman With Fibromyalgia

Mirror reflection of woman with one hand over her eye and the other hand on the side of her face

I was always a happy, fun-loving person who liked nothing more than spending time with my friends. However, that changed in the summer of 2005. I was admitted to hospital with abdominal pains, and the doctors could not figure out what it was. Seven long weeks later, and still in the hospital, it was decided it was my gall bladder — it had to be removed.

I had the operation, and the pain was gone. At last I could get back home to my 18-month-old son and 3-year-old daughter, as well as my ever-supportive husband.

Two weeks after coming out of hospital, I started to feel unwell, pain in every area of my body, and the exhaustion was like nothing I had ever experienced. Fortunately I had an understanding general practitioner who referred me to the hospital specialist.

As I entered the specialist’s office, I expected an explanation about post-operative fatigue, and I would be just fine in a couple of weeks. Instead I was told I had fibromyalgia, it would never go away, and I would have to learn to live with the pain and fatigue.

I felt like my world had stopped. I was 31 with a young family, yet I suddenly felt old and scared.

I tried, for a while, to continue my life as it was before. I saw friends, went to playgroups, smiled and said I was fine. However, I couldn’t keep up the pretense. I started to make excuses, “I can’t go out, I’ve double booked,” Sorry, the children aren’t well,” etc.

I decided to tell a few friends what was really the matter. I thought surely they would understand, but I was wrong. I was told everyone’s in pain and everyone’s tired, and that I just had to “get on with it.” I could not believe the reaction. So from that day on, I didn’t want to tell anyone about my daily struggle. Instead I decided to re-train as a teacher. So with two young children and my pain, I started my training. I loved it; it helped me forget the pain for a while and gave me a goal. An added bonus was that my friends on the course believed me when I told them I had a chronic illness, and they helped and supported me.

In 2010, I qualified as a primary school teacher and got a job in a lovely school. Work was hard, and I was in constant pain, but the children gave me something else to focus on.

Then one year later, while away with some friends, I fell and damaged my coccyx. The pain was awful, but strangely it was not only in my back, it was all over my body. I went back to my general practitioner, who told me I had a major flare-up of fibromyalgia due to the trauma.

Once again I told friends of my pain and fatigue, and once again I was told how everyone is in pain, and everyone is tired.

Add Comment